To those who matter

You probably haven’t seen or heard from me much in the last few years. I’m not ignoring you or rejecting you. I’m just not doing so well.

I want to tell you all that I’m fine but I’m not.

I’m hella depressed. Like effectively-functioning but every damn day is just a meaningless string of boring things that I have to do depression. Like wow I can’t really feel much of anything and it sort of creeps up on me and then I realize I’ve been numb inside for weeks depression.

I don’t want or need your sympathy. I’m telling you this because I love you. Because you deserve to know why you haven’t seen or heard from me in however long it’s been. Because I want you to know that I care, but being around people is really hard for me.

What you can do to help:

  • Text, Message, Email, or Write to me. Let me know when you’re thinking of me.
  • Keep inviting me to hang out, have dinner, etc.. – I might not come but it’s really helpful to know I have people that care and want to see me.
  • Don’t take it personally – My mental health has basically nothing to do with you.

Please DON’T do these things:

  • Call me on the telephone unless we’ve already planned to talk or it’s an emergency.
  • Tell me to just “get out and do things” or give me unsolicited advice on getting over it.
  • Take my depression personally – My mental health doesn’t say anything about how I feel about you.

I Love you all! – theo

Wanting to write, but not having any particular story or topic or theme is such a constipated feeling.